ben goldarb's Page

Every time you make a major life decision, a New You is born in a parallel universe. This alter ego lives his or her life based on the decision you didn’t make. Unless you’re a
game show host, you probably make thousands of decisions every day. That means
that y

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Danny's paperwork was divided into two piles; one that dates back to after the word “party” became a verb but before the first Saturday Night Live was aired, and everything else. His inability to keep order in his life was a blessing, in that it led to him meeting his wife, Jennifer. However, after years of her attempts to organize his life, it was one of the reasons she was doing everything in her power to untie the knot that that kept them in a state of dysfunction for over a decade.


The nig… Continue

It has been said that most Americans have a crisis at least once a decade. Danny Sanders was no exception to that rule. In fact, he was close to setting the country's new crisis curve.

Danny was a member of the Crisis-of-the-Month Club. He's been down and out about money, his career, and he was especially distraught when he was diagnosed with Color Uncoordinated Syndrome (CUS), which wreaked havoc on his wardrobe. Nonetheless, his latest breakdown put more strain on him than all the previous cr… Continue

Beth stared at her computer screen at work. She just turned 35, old enough to run for president of the United States. However, she was still not married and stuck in a dead-end job that didn't speak to her soul. What's worse is she submitted a demo CD of her original music to a producer a year ago and Beth still hasn't yet responded to the pleas to move forward. What would it take for her to get out of her rut?

Each quarter, like clockwork, Beth receives a hand written note, barely legible, fro… Continue

Their wedding, which was only three days ago, was a faint memory of smiling relatives, kamikaze photographers, and spicy Mexican food. Linda and Jon were ready for their two week honeymoon in the Caribbean. They only had to clear customs and then good times would begin. Unfortunately, this wasn’t going to be an easy task considering the baggage they were carrying.

As the newlyweds were having their luggage X-rayed, the custom officer’s eyes widened as he looked into the screen. He called over h… Continue