The Power Of Our Words

People often ask me why I chose Fertilehealthy as a blog name. Actually, the first blog I had was called Fertile & Healthy, but the URL was only "fertilehealthy" and when I moved I went with Fertilehealthy. At that stage I was obsessed with having a baby and I knew that I could only be fertile once I got healthy. My blog was to be about my journey to health and fertility. Still is, of course, although I have a much broader view of fertility these days.

So, in accordance with the Law of Attraction, I chose words that I wanted to see manifest in my life.

I always feel a pang of regret when I see blognames that proclaim the negative. Barren Barb and Fatty Boom Chick (I made these up, but they are representative of many blogs out there) have, to my mind, firmly mired themselves in their current circumstances.

In my last post I mentioned the people in our lives who tell us that we can't do things and the response from my readers was unanimous: People can say what they want, but what ultimately determines my success is what I say and believe.

Therefore we have to be ever-vigilant against negative self-talk:

I'm too fat to do that.

This is too hard.

I can't live without soda.

I am powerless when faced with Girl Scout Cookies.

I could never give up xyz.

I'm addicted to food.

This is just the way I am. I guess I'm doomed to fail.

I have no willpower.

I always stumble when it comes to ...

I'm a failure.

I don't enjoy exercise.

I don't like the gym.

I hate sweating.

I've never been active in my life and it's too late to start now.

The damage I've done to my body is irreversible.

I'll just have to live with this condition/disease for the rest of my life.

I'm lazy.

I've wasted half my life being fat.

I'll be happy when I have a baby.

My life will start when I'm at my goal weight.

When I turn 40 the chances of conceiving are going to be very slim.

Recognize those phrases? Sure you do! We all do!

But, we can change. We can start challenging those thoughts & words every time they pop into our heads. Those assumptions are just like real-life bullies. When faced with assertiveness, they turn to jelly. The truth will always trump a lie.

You don't have to make absurd claims. Just be realistically positive.

I'm too fat to do that yet, but in the immortal words of Arnie, "I'll be back".

This is too hard. This is hard, but I'm up for the challenge. I'll just take one step at a time.

I can't live without soda. Bullshit! If you went on "Survivor" you wouldn't even give soda a thought!

I am powerless when faced with Girl Scout Cookies. Since when is a cookie stronger than the Amazing Hanlie?

I could never give up xyz. Look at what you've accomplished so far! You can do this too!

I'm addicted to food. Forget rules! Addictions are meant to be broken! I'm rebelling against this addiction.

This is just the way I am. I guess I'm doomed to fail. I welcome change and I am destined to succeed!

I have no willpower. I don' t need willpower, I need motivation and goals.

I always used to stumble when it comes to ... but I'm getting better at it all the time.

I'm a failure. Everybody fails until they succeed. It's called trial and error. We learn to fail forward, so that next time we do better.

I don't enjoy exercise. I've never exercised to the level where it becomes enjoyable. I can't wait to get there!

I don't like the gym. I'm going to find a gym I like, or else I'm going to find other means of getting fit.

I hate sweating. I love how my body excretes toxins while I exercise. I'm detoxing! And afterwards I'm going to have a lovely shower.

I've never been active in my life and it's too late to start now. It is never too late! You may just love it.

The damage I've done to my body is irreversible. I'm going to let my body decide that by giving it the right tools to heal.

I'll just have to live with this condition/disease for the rest of my life. Most things can be reversed or healed through diet and exercise. It's worth a try!

I'm lazy. I used to be lazy, but now I'm an athlete.

I've wasted half my life being fat. Every moment of my life has been valuable, because I am valuable.

I'll be happy when I have a baby. I am happy now and I fill my life with joy and meaning.

My life will start when I'm at my goal weight. Your life started many years ago. This is it baby! Seize the day!

When I turn 40 the chances of conceiving will be very slim. Women in their 40's have the second highest incidence of unplanned pregnancies, after teenagers. Besides, I am actively becoming more fertile! Every step I take brings me closer to that little bundle of joy.

Your attitude really determines your outcome. Yes, we may stumble or fail, but we have to pick ourselves up and try again. The battle is not won or lost on the scale, but in the mind

Recently one of my blogging friends was bemoaning her lack of willpower over weekends - something many people struggle with. This blogger said that she once again had an "exercise-free" weekend.

This phrase struck me as odd. "Free" is a word depicting a desirable state. We all want to break free. People all over the world fight for freedom. Items are marked "MSG-free" or "cruelty-free".

This choice of words could mean that exercise is just a necessary evil in her life, from which she likes to escape over weekends. Yes, it's subtle and I may be splitting hairs, but I bear with me, I'm going somewhere with this.

A better way of putting it would have been "exercise-deprived".

I think we are all guilty of using "-less", "-deprived" and "-free" incorrectly from time to time.

When you are on quest to eat healthier, you may think you are being deprived of treats like soda, cake, candy, cookies and fast food, when in fact you are free-ing yourself from those foods. All you're really depriving yourself of is obesity and an increased risk of degenerative disease.

For the first year and a half of my marriage all I could see was that we were childless. But since I've changed my attitude and started living in the moment more, Craig and I have built a life together where we have fun and appreciate the ability to come and go as we please. We are essentially childfree these days. Of course I still want to have kids, but I'm enjoying my life now. Two years ago I vehemently insisted that I would never accept not having children, but now I know that I'll accept it and still be fulfilled as a woman and a person.

I really want each of us to challenge our negative thoughts and words. Let's not whine and complain, but rather face our battles and venture forth with a winning attitude.

Our words are powerful beyond our imagination. They can heal us or hurt us, so let's choose them wisely!